Will I Ever Find Love? A Matchmaker’s Opinion
If you’ve ever found yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m. wondering, “Will I ever find love?”, you’re not alone. I’ve heard that question more times than I can count, and not just from clients. I’ve asked it myself, during those quiet, lonely stretches when everyone around me seemed to be pairing off like Noah’s ark while I was… well, not.
My dating history is just as messy as anyone else’s. I’ve been through drawn-out breakups, ghosting, a heartbreaking divorce, and I survived all the dating apps. I’m a matchmaker now, but I didn’t arrive here because I had it all figured out. I got here because I didn’t.
My Own Messy Search for Love
There was a time I believed love came with a checklist. He had to be tall, have a stable career, be “emotionally intelligent” (which I interpreted as “reads Brené Brown”), and definitely had to like dogs and Sunday farmers markets.
Spoiler alert: that list kept me single for longer than I’d like to admit.
It wasn’t until I met someone who checked exactly zero of those boxes, but made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe and treated me with unwavering kindness, that I realized I’d been looking at love all wrong. He didn’t fit my fantasy, but he felt like home. That changed everything.
What I’ve Learned as a Matchmaker
After joining The Matchmaking Company, the clients I worked with were asking the same questions I once did:
- Am I too old?
- Too complicated?
- Too picky?
- Too much?
And here’s what I can tell you with complete honesty: none of those are dealbreakers. They’re just stories we tell ourselves when we’re scared.
Client Stories: Love Found in Unexpected Places
The thing is, I don’t just think love is possible. I know it is. As a matchmaker, I have evidence: hundreds of couples find their way to one another every year at The Matchmaking Company.
Take Adam. Devout, quiet, a little shy. He came to us after a painful divorce. He wasn’t looking for flashy; he wanted substance. We introduced him to Amanda, a warm, grounded woman who shared his values. Their chemistry didn’t come with fireworks. It came with ease—and that’s more sustainable anyway. (Click here to read their Love Story)
Or Brian and Nancy. Both over 50, both divorced, both skeptical. Nancy had met 15 introductions before Brian joined. Their match was so successful that their matchmaker was a guest at their wedding. (Click here to read their Love Story)
Cliff and Cristina’s story is one of openness, warmth, and unexpected alignment. They shared everything from core values to playing pickleball at the same spot. They remember their first meeting being filled with humor and honesty. (Click here to read their Love Story)
Bruce and Brenda had each met a few people before they were introduced, but when they finally crossed paths, their connection was instant and totally unexpected. Brenda’s spontaneity inspired Bruce to embrace new experiences, while Bruce’s gentle thoughtfulness made Brenda feel truly seen and cared for. (Click here to read their Love Story)
These stories highlight that love often comes when we least expect it and that being open to new experiences can lead to meaningful connections.
The Myths That Get in the Way
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that people don’t just struggle to find love. They struggle to believe it’s possible for them. And that belief is often shaped by some deeply rooted myths. These misconceptions act like invisible walls, quietly discouraging us from taking action, softening our hope, or narrowing our search.
Here are the three I see most often and why they’re simply not true:
Myth #1: “If it hasn’t happened by now, it probably never will.”
Wrong. Love is not Amazon Prime. It doesn’t show up in 2 days just because you ordered it. Some people meet “the one” at 25. Others at 62. Your timeline isn’t broken. It’s just yours.
Myth #2: “There’s only one perfect person for me.”
That’s way too much pressure for one poor soul. In my experience, most people are compatible with several potential partners, and only if they’re willing to show up with curiosity instead of a checklist.
Myth #3: “Online dating is the only option these days.”
It’s an option, sure. But if swiping through strangers’ selfies at midnight feels more draining than hopeful, you’re allowed to want more. Real conversations. Real compatibility. Real humans. That’s where matchmaking comes in.
What to Do While You Wait for Love
Sometimes the loneliest part of love isn’t the heartbreak. It’s the limbo. That in-between space where nothing’s going wrong exactly, but nothing’s moving forward either. The truth is, waiting for love can feel like standing still. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are three things you can work on in the meantime that will quietly, powerfully, prepare you for the real thing:
1. Audit Your Dating Patterns
Are you chasing unavailable people? Avoiding the ones who are kind? Looking for spark instead of substance? Start noticing the patterns and interrupting them. Your “type” might be more about hormones and chemistry than real compatibility.
2. Get Comfortable Being Seen
To find love requires vulnerability. If you’re scared to show who you are, that’s the work. Let yourself be known. It’s terrifying, and it’s the only way in. The kind of intimacy you’re craving doesn’t come from being “perfect”; it comes from being real.
3. Ask for Help
This one’s hard for the overachievers (hi, it’s me). But seriously, getting support doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re serious. Whether it’s therapy, coaching, or matchmaking, inviting someone into your love life can be a total game-changer. Sometimes just having someone in your corner makes all the difference.
So… Will You Ever Find Love?
Here’s my professional opinion (and my personal one, too):
Yes.
But it probably won’t look exactly like you imagined. It might be slower. Or weirder. Or messier. It might come after heartbreak, after a dry spell, after you’ve finally stopped forcing things.
But when real, mutual, sustainable love does show up, it will feel like exhaling after holding your breath for way too long.
You’ll look back at the nights you felt hopeless and realize you weren’t just waiting. You were becoming the person who could recognize and receive the love you were meant for.
So stay open. Be bold. And if you’re tired of trying to do it all alone, reach out. We do this every day, and we believe in your love story, even if you don’t. Yet.
