What Does Cheating Look Like? 6 Types of Infidelity

Cheating isn’t just a physical act; it can also involve emotional, psychological, or even financial betrayals. Each form can deeply affect the trust and foundation of a relationship.

Each person has their own definition of infidelity based on their experiences. While certain behaviors might be seen as unfaithful by some, they may not be by others. The important thing is for both partners to feel secure with the established boundaries and stay within them.

Understanding these different kinds of infidelity can help you to recognize them in your past and future relationships. Here’s a breakdown of the different types of infidelity:

Physical Infidelity

This is the most commonly recognized form, where one partner engages in physical and/or sexual activity with someone outside the relationship.

This can range from kissing to full sexual encounters. While it’s the most recognizable form of cheating, its emotional impact often runs deep. Trust is shattered as physical closeness, typically reserved for the relationship, is shared with someone else. Even when physical acts are brief or “accidental,” the emotional fallout is often just as significant as any long-term affair.

Example: Alex is in a committed relationship but hooks up with someone else during a work trip. Although they return home and try to act as if nothing happened, their partner notices changes in their behavior, and the affair eventually comes to light.

Example: Emily is in a relationship but kisses a stranger at a party after having a few drinks, believing it’s harmless since it didn’t go further. When her partner finds out, they feel deeply hurt by the betrayal.

Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity occurs when one partner forms a close emotional bond with someone outside the relationship, often sharing thoughts, feelings, and intimate aspects of life they don’t communicate with their partner. 

Unlike physical cheating, there may be no sexual activity involved, but the emotional intimacy can feel just as hurtful. It diverts attention and connection away from the relationship, leading to emotional neglect and, in some cases, the slow breakdown of trust and closeness.

Example: Sarah finds herself confiding in her co-worker, John, about personal problems she hasn’t discussed with her partner, like her fears, hopes, and insecurities. Over time, her emotional bond with John deepens, and she starts turning to him for support rather than her partner, creating emotional distance at home.

Example: Ryan forms a close bond with his friend, Julia, texting her late at night, talking about his relationship problems, and turning to her for emotional support instead of his partner. Even though they don’t engage physically, Ryan’s partner feels left out and emotionally disconnected.

Digital/Online Infidelity

With the rise of technology, cyber infidelity has become more common. This form of infidelity includes sexting, sending explicit photos, engaging in online flirting, or developing romantic connections through social media or dating apps. 

Even if there’s no physical meeting, the secrecy and emotional investment in another person can create a significant breach of trust. Many partners feel cyber cheating is as damaging as physical cheating due to its emotional intensity and potential for escalation.

Example: James is in a relationship but begins chatting with someone online. Though he never meets the person in real life, their conversations become increasingly intimate, and they start exchanging flirtatious and sexual messages, which James hides from his partner.

Example: Samantha is in a committed relationship but starts chatting with an old flame on social media. Their conversations begin as friendly but quickly turn flirtatious. Although the messages never escalate to sexting or exchanging intimate photos, Samantha still keeps the conversation from her partner.

Micro-cheating

Micro-cheating involves subtle behaviors that suggest a partner’s attention is drifting outside the relationship. This can include flirtation, secretive communication, or regularly liking someone else’s posts with romantic undertones. 

Though these actions may seem harmless at first glance, they often reflect deeper emotional detachment and dissatisfaction within the relationship. Micro-cheating is typically a warning sign that boundaries are being tested or crossed, leading to feelings of betrayal and distrust.

Example: Mia frequently likes and comments on her ex’s Instagram posts, sometimes engaging in private messages with them, but downplays the significance of these interactions. Although she isn’t having a full-blown affair, her partner feels uncomfortable and betrayed by her secretive and flirtatious behavior.

Example: Mike regularly sees a former romantic interest when out with his group of friends. and hides the interactions from his partner. While he isn’t physically involved with the ex, the secret communication makes his partner question his loyalty.

Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides financial activities—such as secret spending, accumulating debt, or maintaining hidden accounts—from the other. 

Financial infidelity doesn’t have to involve any sort of affair with another person—that’s why communication is important. This type of betrayal can have severe consequences as financial transparency is often crucial to relationship trust. 

Discovering hidden financial issues can lead to feelings of betrayal similar to emotional or physical cheating, particularly if the deception significantly impacts shared financial goals or security.

Example: Tom and his partner share financial responsibilities, but Tom has secretly accumulated credit card debt from gambling. He hides the bills and lies about his spending, which causes a massive rift when his partner eventually discovers the financial deceit.

Example: Lisa buys expensive items on a hidden credit card and lies to her partner about their financial situation. When her partner asks about money, Lisa downplays her spending and keeps the debt a secret.

Psychological Infidelity

Psychological infidelity involves fantasizing about someone outside the relationship in a way that starts to impact the emotional connection with one’s partner. Even if no physical or emotional affair occurs, obsessing over someone else can create emotional distance and discontent. Over time, these fantasies can erode intimacy and trust, even if they’re never acted upon.

Psychological infidelity differs from regular sexual fantasies in the emotional impact it has on the relationship. While fantasies are typically private thoughts that don’t affect the relationship or emotional bond, psychological infidelity involves fixating on someone outside the relationship in a way that causes emotional distancing from their partner. 

This fixation can lead to comparisons, emotional withdrawal, and a loss of intimacy, making it more damaging than a harmless sexual fantasy, which doesn’t usually affect day-to-day interactions with a partner.

Example: Lauren fantasizes about someone at the gym and begins to fixate on them, often comparing their looks and personality to her partner. While she hasn’t acted on these thoughts, her growing obsession causes her to distance herself emotionally and physically from her partner, affecting their intimacy.

Example: Ben is in a long-term relationship but begins fantasizing about his colleague, imagining what it would be like to be with them. His fantasies become so consuming that he starts distancing himself from his partner emotionally.

Key Takeaways

Infidelity is multifaceted: Cheating goes beyond just physical acts; emotional, financial, and psychological betrayals can be equally damaging to a relationship.

Trust is central: Any form of infidelity undermines trust, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Recognizing signs early: Being aware of the various types of infidelity can help couples address issues before they escalate into deeper problems.

Communication is key: Open, honest communication about boundaries and expectations can help prevent infidelity from occurring.