What Women—and Men—Really Look for on a Dating App
Crafting the perfect dating profile can feel like solving a puzzle without knowing what the picture on the box looks like. You agonize over the right photos—should you go with the gym selfie or that cool vacation shot? You rack your brain to write a bio that’s clever, charming, but not over the top. Then you hit “save,” only to wonder: Is this what they’re looking for?
The frustration comes from a simple but universal truth: most people don’t actually know what their matches want to see. Men often assume women are drawn to status and flashy photos, while women think men prioritize flawless looks or quirky humor. These misconceptions lead to profiles that miss the mark, leaving you swiping endlessly without results.
But here’s the good news: bridging the gap between perception and reality isn’t as hard as it seems. With a little insight into what your dating target really values, you can transform your profile into one that stands out and sparks genuine interest.
Men often approach dating profiles with the mindset of trying to impress. They focus on showing off their accomplishments, creating intrigue, or standing out with humor. While these efforts are well-intentioned, they frequently miss the mark on what women actually want to see. Here’s a breakdown:
What Men Think Women Want
- Impressive Photos: Men often believe women are looking for gym selfies, photos with expensive cars, or flashy travel shots to prove status and wealth.
- Highlighting Success: They may feel pressure to emphasize their career, achievements, or financial stability to signal they’re a “catch.”
- Edgy or Mysterious Vibes: Some men think being aloof or brooding will make them appear intriguing and irresistible.
- Lists of Preferences: Men sometimes include long descriptions of the “perfect woman” they’re looking for, thinking specificity will attract compatible matches.
- Humor Overload: Many men assume women want a profile full of jokes, memes, or witty one-liners to prove they’re fun and entertaining.
What Women Actually Want
- Clear, Friendly Photos: Women prefer photos where men look approachable, well-groomed, and genuine—especially ones showing their face clearly (no sunglasses or hats in every shot). Group photos can be fine but shouldn’t dominate the profile.
- Emotional Availability: Women appreciate when a man’s profile hints at kindness, maturity, and readiness for a relationship. A simple mention of valuing communication or family can go a long way.
- Hobbies and Interests: Women enjoy seeing hobbies or passions that showcase a man’s personality. Whether it’s cooking, hiking, or reading, this makes the profile feel more relatable and engaging.
- Effort and Clarity: A well-written profile with complete sentences (and no spelling errors!) signals effort and intelligence. Women are turned off by profiles that seem rushed or overly generic.
- Confidence, Not Cockiness: Women value confidence and self-assurance, but they’re turned off by arrogance or too much focus on material success.
Key Takeaways for Men
Men often overemphasize status and humor, thinking they need to “impress” women, when women are typically looking for someone genuine, emotionally available, and fun to imagine spending time with.
There’s also often a gap between perception and reality for women looking to meet a man on dating apps. Here’s a breakdown of what women think men want on a dating profile and what men actually prioritize:
What Women Think Men Want
- Perfect Appearance: Women might believe that men prioritize flawless photos—perfect lighting, professional-looking shots, and heavy filters.
- Sex Appeal: There’s a perception that men are drawn to overly sexy or revealing photos.
- A Long List of Interests: Women may assume that showcasing a wide range of hobbies and activities will make them seem more appealing.
- Quirky Humor: Some women think they need to be extra witty or quirky to stand out.
- Ambition Over Personality: Women might feel they need to overemphasize career accomplishments to show they’re successful and independent.
What Men Actually Want
- Natural, Smiling Photos: Men typically prefer authentic pictures where women look approachable, happy, and like themselves. A natural, candid smile often beats a heavily posed or edited photo.
- A Sense of Fun: Men are often attracted to profiles that radiate positivity and hint at shared activities they could enjoy together (e.g., “I love hiking and am always up for an adventure”).
- A Little Mystery: Instead of listing everything about yourself, men appreciate profiles that spark curiosity. This gives them an opening to start a conversation.
- Authenticity: Men want to connect with someone real. Profiles that feel genuine and not like they’re trying too hard are much more attractive.
- Compatibility Cues: Men look for signs that you’re easy to get along with and that your values align. This could be as simple as mentioning love for family, pets, or shared goals like traveling or building a relationship.
Key Takeaways for Women
Women often overestimate the importance of physical perfection and complexity in their profiles. You don’t need to overdo it with perfection or complexity. Men value authenticity, positivity, and a profile that feels inviting rather than intimidating. Focus on showcasing who you are in a way that sparks connection.
Key Takeaways for Everyone
At the end of the day, the most effective dating profiles have one thing in common: authenticity. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the goal isn’t to impress—it’s to connect. Clear, approachable photos, a balance of personal details and mystery, and a tone that feels genuine will always stand out more than over-polished attempts to “perfect” your profile.
Remember, your dating profile is your first impression. Use it to reflect the best version of yourself—one that’s confident, emotionally available, and open to connection. Forget the pressure to be flawless and focus on being real. That’s what sparks the kind of interest that leads to something meaningful.
So, what does your profile say about you? Take five minutes today to refresh it with these tips and see how small adjustments can make a big difference!
