The 3 Date Rule

As matchmakers, we’re dedicated to giving you the tools of empowerment you need for the sometimes scary journey that is dating. Dating should be something easy and fun. However, self-sabotage and bad advice are two common hurdles that get in the way of building successful relationships.

Let’s break down some dating strategies and figure out how to start a fun and fruitful dating journey.

3 date rule for successful dating


What’s the first thing to do when beginning this journey?

Speak to professionals. Where do you normally go for dating advice? Most often, people seek dating tips from their friends, family members, or even co-workers. Though they mean well, they usually end up giving bad advice.

For example, if you’re speaking to grandparents about dating, there is the possibility that they’ve not dated within this century. Dating dynamics have changed drastically in the last 10 years. Now, thanks to a global pandemic, we’ve seen even more drastic changes within the dating industry.

Evidence shows that, nowadays, people are more anxious, lonely, and stressed than ever. Both quarantine and remote work are two recent factors that have caused otherwise content singles to consider coupling up quickly–and sometimes with incompatible partners. Many people feel the immense pressure to find love and companionship and are quick to take a fast track into relationships.

If you’d like to avoid any more unnecessary confusion, worry and stress throughout your dating process, our best advice is to speak to the right people from the get-go. Seek advice from professionals who have the credentials to back up what they’re saying.

The Purpose Behind 3 Dates

We’re all aware of the many dating strategies that have floated in and out of popularity. But, in our expert experience, there’s only one that’s proven to work. The idea behind this strategy is to go on a minimum of three dates with your current match or possible partner before making the decision to continue or stop dating them.

The 3 Date Rule is a method to break unhealthy pressure and anxiety-based patterns that we have placed on ourselves in modern dating. A clear action plan for singles to follow, this strategy takes the pressure off of the first few dates. It aims to help you understand the other person and yourself and see if there is a possibility of going steady.

There is no doubt in our mind that the 3 Date Rule benefits those who utilize it. So, what is the 3 Date rule, exactly?

Date 1: Keep it light

The first date should be light-hearted, focusing on simply getting to know each other. This means the date should not be more than 2 hours, and it should be in a less formal place such as a coffeehouse or brunch.

The modern “conveyor belt” type of dating—the quick interview-like conversation of back-and-forth questions—gives you no room to discover your match. Try to know a bit more than just a bullet-point list of basic facts.

Keep the conversation light and keep an open mind!

Date 2: Have fun

Find out if you can have fun together. Date two is about laughing. Focus more on values and hobbies.

The activity-based part of the second date will allow you to get to know this person while you’re in a more comfortable and laid-back mood while your focus is on something else. Activities like bowling, hiking, mini golfing, going to museums, or sporting events are all great ideas for the second date.

Date 3: Wine and dine

Now it’s time to get dressed up and go on a date! Think: dinner and a show.

Allow this date to be where the romance steps in and takes the wheel. Lust can happen on date one, but date three is where you understand if that visual element can evolve into love.

Do You Want to Take This Further?

After the third date, sit down with yourself, process your feelings, and ask yourself: “Is this someone I can go exclusive with?”

Deciding to move forward with your date is the first step to building a strong, long-lasting foundation of forever. On the other hand, if you feel this person isn’t quite right for you, cut things off then and there. You can leave with confidence knowing that you tried your best, while refusing to waste time with an incompatible partner. Now, understanding your feelings and wants with more clarity, you can take what you’ve learned as you move into the next journey with your newest match.

A Proven Dating Strategy

The 3 Date Rule has helped thousands of clients go out on more dates and find lasting relationship success.

Throw away those other tips that force you to move slowly into a relationship— we suggest three dates within two weeks.

The method works by eliminating insecurity—the annoying, yet universal feeling that makes modern dating so difficult. The 3 Date Rule keeps dates moving quickly, focusing on foundation-building and relationship investment while prioritizing maintaining a clear mind and feelings.