“Should We Spend Thanksgiving Together?” Deciding with a New Partner
The holidays can be a tricky time for anyone, but when you’re in a new relationship, the decision to spend Thanksgiving together adds an extra layer of complexity.
Sure, it sounds like a great idea—bonding over turkey, pumpkin pie, and family traditions—but it can also come with emotional hurdles. You might wonder if it’s too soon, whether it sends a certain message, or even how family dynamics will play out.
Making this choice isn’t just about logistics or holiday plans; it’s about navigating where your relationship stands and where it’s headed. So, before you RSVP to the family dinner, let’s break down the factors to consider and how you can approach this decision with confidence (and less stress).
Stage of the Relationship
First things first—how comfortable are you both in the relationship? If you’re still learning each other’s quirks, spending a holiday together might feel like a fast track to intimacy. On the other hand, if you’ve already built a solid foundation, this could be a natural next step. Think about where you both are and if you’re ready to make Thanksgiving another milestone.
Some people see holidays as relationship markers—introducing a partner at family gatherings can signal you’re moving into a new phase. Before diving in, ask yourselves if spending Thanksgiving together fits with the natural flow of your relationship.
Managing Expectations
Let’s be real—holidays can come with implied seriousness. Spending Thanksgiving together might feel like a big relationship move. Is it something you’re both ready for, or would you prefer to take things slowly and not attach too much meaning to it? Having an open conversation about what the holiday means to you can help avoid misunderstandings.
No one wants to feel like they’re rushing into something they’re not ready for. Be mindful of external pressures (and even internal ones) to make sure this decision doesn’t lead to unnecessary tension or unmet expectations.
Meeting the Family
Thanksgiving often means spending time with family, and if that’s part of the plan, the stakes are even higher. Are you both prepared to meet each other’s families? It’s a big step, so make sure you’re on the same page about whether this is the right time.
Sometimes, families expect you to show up—and not just you, but your partner too. If your families have traditions or expectations about your presence, consider how your decision to spend Thanksgiving together will impact them. And make sure you’re not just going along with it to please others.
Every family has its quirks—whether it’s grandma’s strong opinions or an intense football rivalry. Understanding each other’s family dynamics is key. Will your partner feel comfortable? Are there any potential cultural or personal differences that might come up? It’s worth discussing so there are no surprises.
Introducing a new partner at a family event can change the dynamic. People might be curious (or overly inquisitive), and it could shift the usual family vibe. Think about whether this is the kind of energy you want to introduce into your relationship right now.
Traditions and Outside Commitments
How important is Thanksgiving to each of you? For some, it’s a big family celebration with deep-rooted traditions; for others, it’s just another Thursday. Understanding how each of you views the holiday can guide your decision.
Do either of you have standing Thanksgiving traditions with family or friends? It’s worth considering whether you’re both comfortable shaking up those routines. After all, changing long-standing plans can sometimes add pressure, especially if it feels like you’re doing it for the relationship’s sake.
If you come from different cultural or family backgrounds, respecting each other’s holiday traditions and views is crucial. Be mindful of what Thanksgiving represents to each of you.
Logistical Considerations
Spending Thanksgiving together might involve travel—whether it’s across town or across the country. Factor in the time, cost, and energy involved in making this happen, and whether it adds more stress than joy.
For example, if you’re spending the holiday with family, will there be space for both of you? Whether it’s staying with family or booking a nearby place, make sure you’re both comfortable with the arrangements.
Future Implications
This decision can set the tone for how you’ll handle other major events or holidays in the future. Consider whether spending Thanksgiving together now fits with your vision of the relationship. Does it feel like a natural progression, or could it be a bit too soon?
Ultimately, you want to make sure this decision aligns with your long-term relationship goals. If you see a future together, Thanksgiving could be a stepping stone, but if you’re still figuring things out, there’s no harm in waiting.
Alternative Ways to Do Holidays Together
Split the Holiday
If you’re not sure about diving in headfirst, consider a compromise. Spend part of the day together and part of it with your respective families or friends. This allows you to share the holiday without feeling like you’re neglecting other commitments.
Create New Traditions
If Thanksgiving feels like too much too soon, why not plan something special for after the holiday? This way, you can build your own traditions without the pressure of a big family event.
- Why not gather friends instead? You could host a relaxed “Friendsgiving” the weekend after Thanksgiving, inviting mutual friends for a potluck-style dinner. It’s a great way to bond without the family pressure.
- Snuggle up and binge-watch your favorite holiday movies the weekend after Thanksgiving. Whether it’s classic comedies, feel-good Christmas flicks, or just your favorite TV show, this can become a cozy yearly tradition.
- Opt for a post-holiday hike, nature walk, or even camping to enjoy the outdoors. The crisp fall weather is perfect for escaping the crowds and spending quality time together in nature.
- Give back to the community by volunteering at a local shelter or food bank after the holiday. It’s a rewarding way to bond while helping others, turning gratitude into action.
- Turn your post-Thanksgiving into a fun game night with board games, card games, or even video games. Make it a regular event with fun snacks and friendly competition.
- Visit local holiday markets or festivals that happen right after Thanksgiving. Strolling through festive setups, trying seasonal treats, or picking out holiday decorations can become a fun outing.
- Plan a short weekend trip after Thanksgiving to a nearby destination. Whether it’s exploring a new city, visiting a quaint bed and breakfast, or a cozy cabin, this tradition can become a special escape for just the two of you.
Key Takeaways
- Your Comfort is Important: Deciding whether to spend Thanksgiving together as a new couple is no small choice. Above all, both of you should feel comfortable with the decision. If there’s hesitation, it’s worth revisiting the idea and figuring out what would make you both feel at ease.
- Avoid Caving to Pressure From Others: Don’t let family, friends, or societal norms dictate what you do. This decision is about you and your partner, not anyone else. There’s no right or wrong answer—just what feels best for both of you right now.
- Stay Open and Flexible: Relationships require flexibility, especially during the holiday season. Be open to adjusting your plans or expectations as needed.